The Return

"Ma, I'm coming home for Chinese New Year."

"Oh really? Finally you're coming back!"

Mrs. Tan was really happy that her daughter was coming back for the first time after being in UK for 5 years. She was never able to come back during New Year before, although she had been back at other times of the year. New Year was different. New Year was when the family gathered together and remembered the ties that they shared with each other. She hoped that this time Qiao Ru's return would be more peaceful.

"When are you coming back?"

"Probly 2 days before the eve."

"Ok."

Mrs. Tan had missed her daughter dearly. She missed the sound of Qiao Ru's voice, her chatter, her bright young presence lightening up the mood in the house. But the Chinese blood in her refrained from saying so. Instead she asked:

"How long will you be staying this time?"

"Erm..."

She wondered if Qiao Ru had a boyfriend yet. Her husband had lay a strict hand on their only daughter, and the poor girl had hardly any chances with guys, apart from being normal friends. With her milky complexion, long black hair and slim, supple figure, together with a smart head on her shoulders, Mrs. Tan was sure that many guys would have been trying to compete for her attention.

"Ma..."

"Yes?"

"I'm bringing back a guy."

"Oh! Really?!"

Mrs. Tan could hardly contain the excitement in her voice. Her Qiao Ru, finally having a boyfriend. She pictured a tall, good-looking, smart Chinese boy with her in the UK. Qiao Ru would never go against her father; she would never go out with an ang moh, a Westerner. She knew what her father thought of those "Red Haired Devils" as he called them.

"He a Brit."

What? I must have heard wrongly.

"And a Christian."

The line on the other side went silent.

****

12 years ago
"No, you can't go."

"But Pa, why? It's just a movie. And I'm going with my friends."

"I said No. There are no grown ups going with you right?"

Silence.

"So, no. Stay at home."

10 years ago
"Be back at 10pm"

"But 10pm is still so early... And it's a birthday party, it won't end so fast..."

"You know your curfew. 10pm. I will wait downstairs until you come back."

8 years ago
"Stop going to church."

"But Pa, I like going there. The people are nice and I'm learning a lot of new things."

"I said No. Christians are all hypocrites and they will brainwash you."

"But I..."

"See, you are now even going against me because of them. If you become a Christian, who's gonna burn incense for me in the after life? Who's gonna keep the ancestral tablets? Don't let me hear of you going to church again."

6 years ago
"I got the scholarship! I'm going to UK to do Law!!" squealed Qiao Ru into the phone to her best friend friend, Xing Ning.

"Wow!! Really?! Your parents must have been so happy! What did they say?"

"Oh, er... My mom just smiled and asked me to behave myself there. My dad...."

"Uh huh...."

"Didn't say anything."

****

At every stage of her life, Qiao Ru rubbed her father up the wrong way. He was a strict man, governing the family with an iron fist. He was the typical Chinese father, saying very little to his children, but when he did say anything, expected them to listen and obey. Qiao Ru hated it.

Her personality and her father's were like different ends of a magnet. He was the strong silent type. She was the bubbly, talkative type. He did not say much. She loved to have her opinions heard. He kept his few contacts to himself. She had so many friends that she could not keep count of them.

At home, being restricted from speaking her mind to her parents, Qiao Ru took to expressing herself in different ways. She joined debates and public speaking, using the opportunity to vent out the frustration of not being able to talk at home. All of it paid off when it nurtured the lawyer in her. Being a brilliant girl, it was no wonder that she got the scholarship.

****

2 years ago
"What is that you are wearing?"

"Er...."

"Take it off. Put on something more decent."

"But it's hot in Malaysia..."

"Oh, so now study in UK cannot wear sleeves edi izit?"

That was the start.

Qiao Ru and her father got into a huge argument the second day she came back from UK. She was so tired of always listening to her father and UK had given her the courage to finally stand up for herself. She told him everything that she had felt about him the hurt he had caused and how she hated it.

Unfortunately, her father, not used to having his daughter going against him, raised his voice at her.

And finally slapped her.

The next day, Qiao Ru packed her bags and flew back to the UK.

****

Mr. Tan took off his specs, folded the newspaper, and sat back against the lazy chair. He could feel the age catching up with him, and he sighed. The conversation that he had with his wife this morning came flooding back to him.

"Tomorrow your daughter is coming back."

"Hmm? So she finally wants to come back edi izit?"

"What do you mean? Do you know how much you have hurt her the last time she came back?"

"I did what I had to do. She has to learn how to respect her elders."

"What? By slapping her and telling her that you shouldn't have sent her to the UK? By telling her that she should just have stayed here in Malaysia? By telling her how disappointed you are at her, after all she has accomplished? By shutting your daughter up after she finally had the courage to tell you how she feels?"

Mr. Tan had fell silent after that. His wife had left in a huff, leaving him to his thoughts. He loved his daughter. There was nothing that could deny that. But his Chinese upbringing did not let him openly show his feelings to her. When she had got the scholarship, he was so proud of her. When she finished her Degree and Masters, he thanked the Heavens that they had blessed him with his daughter. But in front of her, he was still the cool, calm, stern-faced father.

There was another concern. She had converted to Christianity. How he disliked that. In his experience, Christians were mad fanatics who tried every way to shove their believes unto other people. But still, he couldn't deny that his daughter seemed happy that she converted. He pretended that he didn't know, because deep down, he did not want to ruin the already cold relationship they had.

After their argument that day, Qiao Ru came to her senses on the flight back. She had called and apologised tearfully to him and her mom, saying that she shouldn't have left just like that and that it was rude of her. He had just grunted into the phone and handed it back to his wife.

I'm sorry too.... Is it too late to make up?

****

Qiao Ru got off the plane with trepidation on her mind. Her last visit back to home proved to be a bad one. She did not want it to happen again.

Bryan held her hand, and gently squeezed it. He saw the look on her face. And he knew how must she be feeling.

"It's ok dear, I'm here," he smiled, both with his lips and his blue-green eyes.

Qiao Ru smiled back at him. Perhaps, this time would not be as bad. She said a little prayer as they got into the taxi, heading off to her home- the place that she missed so much, yet feared to go back to.

-

"Hi Mr. Tan. I'm Bryan," he said, holding out his hand.

That second of silence nearly killed Qiao Ru.

"Come on in, you must be tired after your long flight," said her father.