4. Get yourself together

I just wanted to talk.

Can't you even talk to me now?

I'm sorry, k?

Jess had cut his call again. He didn't know how many times had he tried to call her during the week. Each time she had cut his call, each time making him feel worse than he was before.

A loud bang on his door startled him.

Who de hell is dat?

****

"Josh! Oi Josh! I know you're in there! Open the door!"

Gerald was hammering with all his might on Josh's door. When there was no reply, Gerald intensified his assault, both on the door and the volume of his voice.

"JOSH!! You better bloody open the door NOW!!"

Finally, Gerald heard the click of the lock behind the door. Slowly, it opened, and there was Josh standing beyond.

Gosh, he looks terrible.

Josh's handsome face was shadowed by his unshaven stubble, dark circles around his eyes and stinking of alcohol and smoke. He was dressed only in an old pair of faded jeans.

"What you want...?" he drawled, so very different from the crisp spoken person that he usually was.

Gerald glared at him and shoved his way into his room to see what sort of condition Josh was rotting in.

"My God... What have you been doing?"

Josh threw himself on the bed without answering.

Gerald rounded on him.

"Are you on drugs?!"

Josh threw him a dirty look.

"Don't be stupid. You know how much I hate drugs."

A faint relief crept up to Gerald. But still, he need to get his friend out of his state of hopelessness.

"Hey, get up."

Josh ignored him and pulled another cigarette out of the box with his teeth.

Gerald wretched the cigarette out of his mouth before Josh could light it. Josh gave him a glare which would have freaked out other people. But Gerald was not "other people".

"That's enough of you hiding yourself in your room not doing anything! You think you're what? Snail ka! Get a grip!"

Gerald hauled Josh up and shook him. Although Josh was tall and broad, Gerald matched his built, and was able to manhandle him.

"First, go and bath," said Gerald, shoving him towards the bathroom.

"Geroff me! Who do you think you are?! My mother a?!" Josh resisted Gerald and tried to push him away.

"No you idiot! I'm... your... fren...." Gerald increased his level of aggressiveness of shoving Josh, each word punctuated with a growl.

"You ****ing pig..."

Josh shoved him back, which ended up with them wrestling with each other-

and landing on the floor.

"Oof! Gerroff, you babi!"

"Owh! Go bath, you ass!"

Finally, Gerald, in sheer desperation, landed a punch on Josh's nose.

"Shit!"

"Oh..."

Gerald drew back, he didn't mean to hit his buddy so hard. Blood was now blossoming from Josh's nose.

"Sorry man... I din mean to hit you so hard..."

Josh glared at him.

Gerald stared back apologetically.

Josh's mouth twitched.

Gerald was still staring at him with the "Sorry" look.

Josh burst out laughing.

"Ok man, you win. I'll get my arse into the bathroom."

Gerald grinned and pulled him up.

"About time, you idiot."

****

"Hello?"

"Erm... Wan Xing...?"

"Yeah. Gosh, you're alive! We all haven heard from you for a long time! Where were you?"

"Erm... At home."

"Ok. You alrite?"

Silence.

"Xing?"

"Can we meet up? I need to talk to someone. I'm.... gonna go... crazy..."

Xue Xing's voice broke into dry sobs.

****

Jess drove into the porch of her house. She killed the engine, but left the key in the ignition so that she could still hear the music playing. She lowered the back of the car seat to it's full limit.

She looked at the digital numbers of the clock.

12.57am

Lying back into the now horizontal car seat, she sighed. Closed her eyes and listened to the music playing. It was her own little world, one that she was escaping into more and more frequently recently.

It was kinda comfy in the car actually. The cushion was soft and the music soothing. The night was dark and the still. With the doors locked, Jess felt a sense of security and peace that she rarely felt during the day.

Josh had called her again today. Again she cut his call. Again, she cursed him. Again, the temptation of answering it was getting harder to resist.