What wouldn't I give to be good in something. Since young, all I wanted was to excel in something, anything, in fact. To be known as the so and so who is good in this or that. To be a person who had a passion to pursue what she wanted and loved. To have a sense of fulfillment of doing the things I want to do, the things I'm good at.
But to do that, you first need to know what you like, to know what is your interest, to know what is your talent, to know what is it that you will continue doing, not for the sake of other people, but for the sake of yourself.
Easier said then done.
I'll be 21 this year, supposedly at the age of when I know myself well, what I am good at and what I am not. I'm supposed to be at the age of when I know what I like to do, my passion, my talents, my gifts.
Sadly, I can't find them at all, nor can anyone, for a matter of fact. Even my mom can't tell my precisely what I excel in. There is nothing I can do that will make people go - Wow! That's so Renjie. That's something she's good at, something to be expected of her.
With no natural (nor fake) talent, there is nothing to be honed to be improved, nothing to nurture to make it grow, nothing to pursue as a lifelong passion, nothing to show to the people around that this is me.
I will be finishing my degree next year (if all goes well). By right I should be planning my future, planning what I want to work as next time, planning what I would want to major in if I were to take my Masters.
But when you have nothing, how, you tell me?
How?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
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by prayer alone,dear =) pray that He will reveal to you what your life work is to be - that He will open all the necessary doors,n give u a clear leading to what His Plan is for your life.also that the gifts and talents He has put in you will be used to the full-for His Glory.and yes,u have many gifts.though u may not see them.so pray that He will open your eyes =)
ReplyDeleteone of the greatest assurances of knowing Christ,is the realization that 'your life is not your own,you were bought at a price.Therefore, honour God with your body..'; also, 'i have been crucified with Christ and i no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life i live in the body,i live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.'(Gal 2:20)
He's been waiting for u to ASK Him to show u, i believe.as for all of us.so ask. not once or twice,but until He shows you.and He will, definitely =)
Yea, but it's sometimes just frustrating to just exist without knowing the things that I should know about myself. But I'm fine, don't worry. Heheheh...
ReplyDeleteThanks very much for the encouragement, girl! Miss ya!